diwali

*** this thing I wrote long back... never felt like posting!! but that diwali is long gone.. let me do that!!



When i was a kid during diwali time my dad used to buy me fire-crackers. Being not rich he could not buy those expensive ones but those normal stuffs. Every year I used to light them up and once my crackers got finished I used to day-dream that when I will grow up I will earn lots of money and I will buy lots and lots and lots of crackers.I was caught two-three times in my roof-top red-handed while firing those expensive stuffs in my dreams and had to give a stupid smile to my mom without having any explanation for questions like "what are u doing here alone at night? and what were u throwing in the sky?".


Now I am with a company and earn enough to buy crackers. This year I bought also I mean enough stuff to celebrate :). But the enjoyment I used to have that time , that is gone. The joy of not having something is perhaps much more than the joy of having it. Next year I was thinking of enjoying it with someone who is/are perhaps day-dreaming like me in his/her roof-top. How much joy he/she will feel if I gift them those stuffs?
Let's see what happens next year.

New Year resolution

1. I will have breakfast at least 5 times in a week ( currently I always start with lunch).
2. I will wake up everyday before 7-30 am. (Currently I start this process at 7-30 but finally I wake up at 9-30 :P).
3. I will come to the office before 9-30 am ( Currently it is around 10-30 to 11 am).
4. I will study something everyday. (huh.... currently don't ask!! :( )
5. I will practice my keyboard at least 5 days a week for an hour everyday.... ( :( :( too much !!!!).
6. I will clean my room at least once a week.
7. I will not spend like an idiot. ( like buying expensive, exotic fruits spending lots of money then not eating them and ultimately putting them in the dustbin.... or like buying black,seedless grapes and giving them to the neighboring labradors :( .... I love pets.. :D wish someday I will have my own.
8. I will buy new clothes for me. ( last time I bought any jeans is 2 years ago :D:P , my mom will kill me... if she comes to know about this).
9. I will com to the office wearing shoes not "chappals" :P:D.
10. I will never miss a tour arranged by my friends. :D
Lets see how much I can stick to.................................... need a lots of determination...... :(

I am not good at

I was thinking about what I am good at and this is what I figured out (I am writing here only 10 points)........

1. I am NOT a very good design engineer. I am just an average guy and this is the most painful truth I have to live with for the rest of my life.
2. I am NOT good at loving anybody or to be honest making a very good friend of mine, so sometimes (??) I feel a bit alone.
3.I do NOT have enough determination to do something like learn to play keyboard or learn to become a good designer.
4.I do NOT like my company but still I do NOT feel like leaving it.
5.I do NOT love to crib to my parents for any sufferings that I undergo.
6.I will become a very BAD manager as I get easily pissed-off when my Juniors do not meet my expectations.
7.I am very poor in communication skill but never tried to improve myself.
8.I am NOT a good blogger but feels that sometimes I will be able to write well.
9.I hate my room as it is a total mess. I am too lazy to clean it up. :(

and above all what I feel is the best part of me is that
10. I do accept that I am not good at anything but I love myself and love me very much, no matter what! I never felt bad about the fact that I have not been able to figure out one good thing about me.

May someday,someone will find something GOOD about me and I will really feel very very happy if that happens.... :D

One Month Passed Away

Sometimes times run so fast. It is exactly one month since Tutan is with us. That is his pet name. I have not seen him yet neither I have talked to him(as if he will understand :P). Most of the times he remains asleep. My Mom just keeps me updated about him. He remains awake only for 15-20 minutes in every 3-4 hours and that too just to eat. But during that time he likes to move around also. One day I called Mom and he was awake and with my mom. I can hear him crying with anger once my Mom starts talking to me and because of that he could not move around my house. Well hoping to see him during December-end. These are happiness, small but precious happiness.

Soon he will grow up and perhaps like us, will grow up to become a man with lot of others around in this struggle-ridden world. And once the childhood is lost I don't think much is left behind to enjoy apart from the love, struggle and responsibilities of the family. I will ensure he gets all the luxuries while he remains a child and enjoys his childhood to the fullest. Hope his childhood lasts long, very very long....... unlike this "one month" which just passed away............

What next

Well, it seems that I am going home during the last week of December. Before that I have to complete the debug in the LAB for an old project. Hope everything goes fine and I can go home with a cool mind and no bothering about the office. Since I will be staying only for a week, it will be really painful when I come back. Whatever is the case currently waiting eagerly for the last week to come and I can go home.

From January onwards perhaps I have to leave my old group in the office. Will that be painful... don't know!!! But the question what bothers most now is definitely "what next"........ Will this change make me professionally more stable? Will this change increase my market value or will it degrade my market value? Well so many questions...... perhaps best thing to think about right now is : why do you bother? whatever happens, does that matter?

To be honest it really does not !!!! So right now my job is to chill out and enjoy life as it comes to me :)

Corporate Life

I do feel sometimes that every conference room in every office must have TV-set with Cable connection.

Let us consider the case when you are attending a conference call with a Chinese customer. This is what will happen. They will ask you one question. Say the question is "Can you give me 200mA load current instead of 150mA without any change in your design?". Your answer will be "No". After this there will be 30 minutes discussion in Chinese among themselves. Only part of those conversations which you will understand is sometimes they will pronounce your name like this " hui mu ka mui 'YOUR NAME' chu kai hui hui "YOUR NAME' chu kai hui".

If you have a TV set at least you can see the live cricket match between India and Srilanka during that time........ Wait they said another sentence in English!!!! Will be back later........

Well another short post

I was thinking for sometimes that I should again start writing at least 2-3 posts per week! But thoughts are thoughts above all...

Currently I am a bit frustrated with the work load. Was planning to go home during December end. Looks like almost not possible at the beginning of the month. So a bit frustrated.....

Sometimes I really feel that everything, whatever we do, is already decided by someone else. Otherwise a person like me who was so keen to become a computer engineer how can turn into en electronics engineer? Even if I assume that that is possible, then I really still cannot understand that after bunking almost 90% of the analog VLSI class and copying all the answers from my friends in the exam hall in my college (in analog VLSI) how can I work in analog VLSI? :(

I really wish to know how my life would have been , if I really had become a computer engineer and right now instead of thinking how should I proceed to design a bandgap, was able to think about how to write a virus to screw up someone's you know what... :D

And guess who is in my mind for that special position? lol!!!! Tomorrow I have meeting at 10am and I have not completed what I am supposed to!! :P

Happy Today

Well it has been ages since I wrote anything. To be honest, I wrote so many stuffs but never made them public. Will talk about it another day, not today.

Today I will cut short of all my stupid babbling and directly write about my happiness.


A few hours ago I became uncle and I am feeling so happy right now even though it tells me that I am growing older. It's a baby-boy and first one in my family thanks to "dada" and "bhabi" :)

He is healthy and cries a lot for his mom ( He was hungry when I called). He was kept isolated from his mom for few hours for check-up and my mom said she can hear him crying from outside. I also heard him crying through mobile phone. Can you believe it?. Doctor said it is good for him to cry a bit. Dunno why!! Apart from this, he hates being covered up and by all his plight he pushes all the covers and then loves to stretch out his hands and legs on the mosquito net. And he pissed off 3-4 times. LOL!!! More updates on him later.

Well, I don't feel, in anyone's life, happiness can be PURE. It would have been PURE for me though, if I had been in kolkata right now. Hope I will be there soon. Miss you all mom,dad,dada,bhabi and specially YOU. Welcome to OUR family ......

When I will meet YOU for the first time, perhaps YOU will cry again as YOU will not know me, but don't be afraid as I will know YOU, every bit of YOU till I meet YOU, mo matter how far I am from YOU. Stay beautiful :)

BONG-MOM

Well if you are not a bong (that is if you do not speak bengali, live in west bengal(india) by birth, raise your voice during nandigram-killing blaming mamatadidi when the other guy belongs to CPM and abusing buddhababu when the other guy loves mamatadidi, eat fish and love gossiping ) then you will not understand the meaning of this post but still you can have a fair idea about bong-moms from this post.

This post does not cover everything about bengali moms but whatever it covers is true for every bengali mom.

POINT NO 1 (about you) : you are unlucky if your mom is not bong and you should pray to God so that next time He should give you a bong mom. ( I hardly believe though that you should still believe in God even after knowing that your mom is not bong and in that case you can abuse your dad!)

POINT NO 2: If you eat 5 kilos of rice, 5 kilos of daal, 5 kilos of veg, 5 kilos of sweets in your lunch (can you imagine?) but fail to eat either an egg or 100gms of fish or 100 gms of meat (either chicken or mutton) a bong mom believes that her son is not getting enough nutrition. To add to the point if you continue to eat the above mentioned menu (point is you are not eating fish) for 7 days continuously, a bong mom will definitely start crying over the telephone during the weekend thinking that her son is getting thin. ( here I assume that her son is not staying with her thanks to the IT industry like me. If you are staying with your bong-mom trust me this point does not make any sense since you HAVE to eat fish almost every day!!!)

POINT NO 3: Assume that you went home(may be from bangalore to kolkata) and since you are old enough you decided to give a rest to your dad from going to market everyday and then you went to the market and called her to decide on which fish you should buy. The conversation will be typically like this
YOU : "mom! there are rohu fish, hilsha, pomfret and prawn. All are looking very fresh. Which one I should buy?".
MOM : "buy all 4 then" ( your mom knows that you like all of them so.... )
YOU : "What!! I will be left with no money to buy potato"
MOM : "beta what will you do eating potato? I will ask your dad to buy potato ... you just buy fish and come back.ok!!!"
NOTE : Please buy all 4 of them. do not buy potato. Your mom will not say even a single word to you if you fail to buy all 4 fishes but your dad will be in great danger since he did not went to the market on your humble gesture. She may skip that day's meal after becoming angry on your dad if you buy only 3 varieties and after your return your father says "OK let him eat 3 types today I will buy the other one tomorrow!!"
If you buy 3 types only best possible solution will be your father rushing(yes he should RUSH) to the market to buy the other variety!!! But trust me even though he can buy the 4th variety your mom will not leave your dad may be imaging that the fish had been much more fresher if bought in the morning than at 10am.

POINT NO 4A: When you are coming back from home (from kolkata to bangalore may be) your mom will pack "aamer achar" ( sweet mango pickle), "narkel nadu"(sweets made from coconut), lots of sweets (of different sizes,shapes but made of same materials and if you argue why so many, she will start crying.. so don't ask), "fried fish"(which will last atleast one week if you have a freeze), "chanachur", "nimki", "jhuribhaja" (namkeen snacks like kurkure,haldirams etc) and even "ghee" (butter) and you will get a bit annoyed since your luggage size will increase a lot.
NOTE : Please do not argue with her that you can buy all those in bangalore too. This will not cause her reduce your luggage. It will make her cry for half an hour though.

POINT NO 4B : If you ask your mom to go with you and buy some shirts and pants, she will typically give you money (no point arguing that you now earn money) and then will tell you don't buy from here otherwise your luggage will become heavy!!!!! you can buy those from bangalore also........ (what about kurkures? ).

POINT NO 5: If you go home after 5-6 months the first sentence your mom will tell you after seeing you will be "Oh God! you have become so thin .... " and when you will return to your work-place the last sentence she will say will be "See you stayed here for 15 days and you have gained some weight . please eat well after going there and tell your cook to cook fish everyday". And if you try to argue saying that "I took my weight before coming here and now also and there is no change ... so you see I eat well there also" your mom will typically say with moist eyes "those weight-machines were not correct!"

POINT NO 6: Never Ever Dare To tell a bong-mom that her son/daughter looks ugly ( even if he looks like Johny Lever and she looks like Serena Williams).You will be in great danger. A bong-mom never finds anything wrong with her own child. There was a neighbor whose son was 2 years old and was almost 30Kg or so (point is heavily over-weight) and he was suffering from cold for one day! His mom took him to my house and some conversations were going on with my mom. I just heard that his mom was crying to my mom saying that his son has become so thin since he is not eating well and suffering from cold. I went there and said it is good for the son since he is heavily over-weight. His mom rushed out from my house ( trust me she could have broken the world record for fastest running woman). I thought my mom will become angry with me .... well my mom became angry but not with me...... she crushed the neighbor a lot for showing her attitude towards me!!

POINT NO 7 : NEVER FORGET to call your mom atleast once a day. A bong-mom expects to call her atleast 4 times a day ( yeah u guessed write: to tell her that u ate well). But even if that is not possible please call her at lease once day. If you fail to do so she may have to be hospitalized.

POINT NO 8 : If you have a bong mom and you are going to GOA with friends. Please always keep your mobile on and with you, even if you are going for a bath in the sea and please keep on updating her that you are still alive. Otherwise she may faint (if she does not get a news from you in 2-3 hours time span).

POINT NO 9 : Never lie to her. If you are drinking and partying tell her the truth. She loves truth and accepts truth as well. If she figures out that you are doing something without telling her then she gets hurt most.

POINT NO 10 : you can keep on writing about a bong mom and this post will become never-ending.

I must stop now but before that I will re-aasert you are unlucky really really unlucky if you do not have a bong-mom!!!!

The birth of a child

NO no i am not married yet.... well still if u r saying "so? who told u that u have to be married to have a child?" then I must re-assert that no I am not the dad rather i am the child!! WHAT!!! yes but true ... just read ahead!!


I started learning key-board!! Just imagine a person of 24+ is sitting in a class along with 5-6 other kids who are not more than 10 years old. If you are laughing and imagining that what a awkward situation to be in then I will say I really don't feel that bad to be with them until and unless they start playing some fine tunes of superb hindi-songs flawlessly and I while practicing fingering will make mistakes now and then. I got a bit frustrated not because I play very bad but rather because I could not learn it while i was a child. Coming back home I practice but not always and all days. Still I practice decent amount. I learned to play 3-4 songs and I was pleased. However all of them I can play only with one hand ... I don't know how to play chords!! So after some days I decided somehow I will learn at least one song with my both hands! SO i opened the song-book and first song I can see is "twinkle-twinkle little start". Trust me after 4 hours of continuous effort I was able to play it. And then when I realized that actually I am playing the song perfectly I was reallllllllllly happy!! With a big smile and I was just madly happy!!

It was almost 2 am and I went to bed and before I can close my eyes I felt how childish I am!! I am feeling soooo happy just for a song which is called "twinkle twinkle little start" :P I laughed out loud and again I laughed as I realized that I am laughing at me loudly without anyone being present in the room, with nothing being said.................... I don't remember anything else!!!